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  • Dr. Angela Hargrow

How Always Saying 'Yes' Takes A Toll On Your Happiness

When we think of boundaries, we often think about hard lines in the sand. They’re a way

of saying this is OK and this is NOT. Whether physical or emotional, boundaries are an

important part of establishing your identity. In fact, emotional boundaries are essential for our

wellbeing. They show confidence, self-respect, and maturity.


Protecting Your Emotions


Emotional boundaries and personal values are learned and develop over time. For a lot

of people, learning boundaries start in early childhood. Children are known for testing all kinds

of boundaries and, though it can be frustrating as a parent, it’s a healthy part of learning what’s

OK and what’s NOT.


As adults, setting emotional boundaries can help you create a healthy, happy life. But

setting emotional boundaries isn’t always easy. You might find yourself constantly saying “Yes”

or taking on more tasks because you don’t know how to set a boundary and say “No”.

Weak boundaries can lead to physical and mental burnout.


How To Draw The Line In The Sand


To start, work on developing a deeper sense of yourself. If you want to set boundaries,

then you have to have a good understanding of your personal barriers. Separate your emotions

from someone else’s emotions.


For example, you don’t need to feel guilty for someone else’s mistakes. You don’t always

need to give advice or solve the problem because it’s not your problem. We’re probably all

guilty of taking on this kind of negativity but don’t carry it around out of guilt…let it go!

Above all, remember that setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad friend or person.


You can still be a compassionate and kind person. You don’t always have to put other’s needs

and feelings before you’re own because you don’t want to jeopardize the relationship. Respect

yourself by learning how to say “No”.


Boundaries Help Build A Better Life

Healthy boundaries help create strong relationships. Once you learn to prioritize yourself

and your feelings, you’ll start to thrive in life. Let go of criticism and self-doubt.


Your personal boundaries are an essential part of your happiness and should never be

compromised. Stop overriding your needs to please others-it’s OK to make yourself a priority

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